WARNING: FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and love is in the air. If I had a sense of smell I'm sure I'd be able to smell it, but I don't.

So I'll just sit here and imagine that love smells like a box of twinkies.

OR DEAD COWS.

I learned that recently from a local furniture store.

See? The sign says so:

















Now, I'm 44 years old and I've NEVER been wooed with a cowhide.

I think I feel jipped.

Sure John's brought me flowers (preferably tulips) and cards and jewelry and champagne but not once has he unfurled and snapped open a nice black and white holstein rug as a token of his undying love and affection. Not even on our honeymoon.

How is it possible that before now I never knew COWHIDES SPELL ROMANCE?

So, if this little tidbit in any way enhances your Valentine's Day experience, please remember to thank me later.

With a COWHIDE of course.