A Little Smarter Than This Time Yesterday

Confession.

Up until yesterday I didn’t know what a “Meme” was and all I have to say is THANK GOODNESS FOR WIKIPEDIA.

Apparently Memes have taken over my life in the form of FACEBOOK and ALL THE STINKING HOMEWORK AND PROJECTS being a member there entails.

According to Wikipedia "meme" is a noun and it rhymes with “theme”. But apparently it’s more of a conceptual thing than a physical thing. Which means I have no idea how to use Meme properly in a sentence.

Like I said earlier, journalistic standards and strict adherence to grammar are not priorities for me. I’ve got way too much on my plate right now what with all the scanning and posting of old photographs going on so that Facebook can, someday, put my 1982 prom picture on a box of Wheaties and reap HUGE financial rewards for themselves.

For example, I have no idea if these statements reflect the correct usage of MEME or not:

"John, could you please pick me up a couple of MEMES on your way home tonight?"

or

"Riley, please get your feet off the MEME. You know how I hate dirty MEMES that smell like feet."

or

"Wyatt, please stop picking your MEME. Do you want it to get stuck that way?"

See? I am nothing if not a polite wife, mother and law-abiding citizen.

My latest venture into MEME-ing came in the form of Facebook’s demand for a LIST OF 25 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME. As I’m a pleaser and all I immediately complied and there, on Facebook, I confessed highly fascinating yet never before revealed things about myself such as the fact that I have no sense of smell (never have) and I have a tendency to wet my pants at inopportune moments.

Like when my pants are still on my body.


There were 23 other equally fascinating revelations I divulged on my MEME but really, today, I’m just wondering what state of mind I must have been in to think that information would be remotely interesting to anybody else who has not been relegated to the status of CAPTIVE AUDIENCE.

HI EVERYONE. MY NAME IS LORI AND I’M AN INCONTINENT ANOSMIAC.

EVERYONE: HIIIIII LORRRRRRIII

I think Facebook has hijacked my brain and the plane is now parked on a tarmac in some Third World Country awaiting its ransom of pertinent information such as my weight, bra size and HOW COME YOU DON’T LIKE HAM?

Because I don’t really understand how a well-read, college-educated individual like myself could live 44 years without even knowing MEMEs exist.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go check out my MEME. It's starting to smell funky.