My Hat Goes To Hawaii

me and my hat are presently wiling away a few hours in the phoenix airport, awaiting our connection to KONA, HAWAII. we're straddling a little round coffee table in the US Airways lounge under the strict supervision of tracey at the front desk, whose primary job responsibility today is to ensure we understand, without question, the "no feet on the furniture" policy.

in spite of the fact i've lived in colorado for 17 years she must be able to still smell the "oklahoma" on me ... i don't hear her warning anyone else of the NO FEET ON THE FURNITURE rule, which she announced to us the minute we sidled up to her desk.

now john's reclining, using his carry-on bag as an ottoman, but occasionally tracey will glance over here to confirm his giant feet aren't actually touching the coffee table.

i just smile and wave and keep on clipping his toenails.

okay, i'm not really clipping john's toenails in the phoenix airport ... that would be CRAZY seeing as you can't even say the words "toenail clippers" in an airport anymore. much less pack them on your person. but i'd really, really like to see tracey's face if she were to catch me mid-clip ... with toenail shards bouncing off the upholestery right and left.

but today i'm going to hawaii so tracey's furniture fetish isn't bothering me. not even the intimate frisk i received from the security screeners in the denver airport, thanks to my underwire bra, could take the bloom off this day's rose.

toenail clippers and bras aside, i'm wearing my hat today and feeling good about it.

i bought this cute little straw hat with the black band about 15 years ago. it was expensive. made in italy. and it looks pretty darn cute on me if i do say so myself. but i've never worn it outside of my house. might sweat on the sweatband or ruin it or something.

i was in my closet the other day, surveying my hawaiian atire options, when i noticed the hat glaring at me. it never leaves my closet. it wanted to go to hawaii. i said yes. after all, what's the point of having nice, expensive stuff if i'm not going to wear it or use it today?

my decision to take my hat to the steamy tropics was liberating. i found myself pouring orange juice in to our fancy-schmancy-wedding-gift-wine-glasses that have never been used ... our harmonica, the "nice" one (i guess you really can't take the oklahoma out of the girl), has now been broken in by wyatt ... it's sticky and covered in cheerio juice and making sweet, sweet music these days ...

i'm a little self-conscious in my hat. i couldn't pack it, being that it was an expensive hat and all, so it's riding in the main cabin with us. on my head.

i wore it in the denver airport. i'm now wearing it in the phoenix airport. people look. not for any reason other than i'm an aberration in the airport landscape. for a while i took it off and then i realized i wasn't wearing MY hat out of concern for what other people were thinking.

"looking good. looking bad."

it owns us and drives us unless we really get how ridiculous it is.

so i proudly put my hat back on. smushing down my hair until the hawaiian humidity kicks it up a notch. and i feel great.

why?

well, in about 7 hours i'm going to be wearing my first lei thanks to tony, our driver, who kindly pointed out that as this was not "fantasy island" he would not be waiting for us with fresh flowers unless we were willing to pay for them in advance. we did.

aloha!